Labor Strike at Disney Studios
In a surprising move today, the Disney characters walked out on both the Disneyland Themepark and the movie giant's studio sets, refusing to return to work until their demands for anti-discrimination name changes are met. Several of the celebrities have been with Disney for decades and apparently are upset at the Disney Corporation's refusal to entertain their request for name changes, especially in light of Disney's recent revamping of the Pirates of the Caribbean Ride, for purely political reasons.
Goofy, a spokesman for the Animated Characters Union (ACU) said that his pleas to have his name changed to
"somethin' at least respectable and not... well, goofy, (huh yuk. Pardon my pun) have gone largely ignored. Ever since my poltical consensus was raised a few years ago, I been in consistent incommunicado (like them big words? Yuk) with the executive types here at Disney. (That's who I work for, you know.) I figure, if'n they can tear down a ride, and rebuild it to gruntle a few ungruntled people, and basically jes' rewrite history as they please, then they should oughta be able to change my name and make me gruntled, too. 'Cause right now, I'm real ungruntled.
Several other famous Disney personalities were heard to grumble in agreement. Among them were Mini Mouse, The Beast, The Ugly Stepmother, Piglet, and Dopey. Chants of "End the Discrimination," and "We Want Respect" rose from among the ranks of striking Disney
When asked what her feelings on the issue were, Mini Mouse stated that any reports of sexual encounters between her and Mickey Mouse were greatly exagerrated. She said they were simply good friends and that their relationship was strictly... Plutonic.
Mickey Mouse, acting as lawyer for the group of striking cartoon characters said that he plans to file a class action suit against the Disney Corporation early next week, unless the demands for name changes are met.
Disney officials declined to comment.
In completely unrelated news, Disney announced plans for a new movie today, saying it should be ready for release this fall. The film will be called "The Wizards of Washington" and will be a radical departure from the standard Disney fare, according to sources. It will feature real to life, animated characters, much like the Simpsons and centers around the heroic struggle to balance the federal budget. The film appears to have all the makings of a blockbuster: intrigue, brilliant dialogue, and an over abundance of fantasy.